The author
Martin Amis wrote of Joesph Stalin that he tortured not so much to obtain information
as he did to enforce a collusion with a fiction. When I consider the impact of
addiction upon couples and families, I am reminded of this dark observation. The
addicted individual fashions a system of denials, rationales, and diversions that
embroil loved ones and compel their loyalty, silence, and complicity. One thinks
of the family whose presenting issue is the acting out, possibly substance abusing
teen, whose behavior deflects attention away from the addicted parent. Or else
there is the couple whose presenting problem is “communication problems”,
or “parenting conflicts”, while again, an underlying addictive behavior
is masked. In artist Gottfried Helwien’s 2003 photograph, The Golden
Age, we see a haunting image of a small girl looking on as an adult woman
(her mother?) poises to inject herself with an unidentified substance. The child
is an innocent, and yet preternaturally mature; her gaze is one of curiosity,
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and also nurturance. One can imagine the woman
having just directed the child to retrieve the needle from another room. And so
the girl is enjoined into the act, a part of the addiction. The image is dark
and isolating; a secret bond. People
within intensive relationships, such as families and marriages, bond in idiosyncratic
ways that may appear inscrutable to outsiders. Understandings are often tacit,
rules are conveyed with a certain look, a turning away. A secret is not so much
that which is known or unknown. A secret is that which is not spoken of. To those
parents, husbands, and wives who think your loved ones don’t know what you’re
doing because they don’t see you, they know. And in therapy, we talk.
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| What
is Group Therapy Group
therapy is a particular passion of mine. Hardly a week has passed in 12 years
in which I have not facilitated a group somewhere. Currently, I lead a men’s
support group that meets weekly in Lafayette, Ca., to pursue the following goals:
- Gain
insight into relational styles, interpersonal dynamics
- Learn
skills of validation, mirroring
- Working
through old fears, fellowshipping with others
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Group Therapy for Men
Imagine a group whose principal agenda is for men
to be present and authentic with each other!
Led by:
Graeme Daniels, MFT
(925)
487-5934 -
Work through anxiety, depression, isolation, addictive
behaviors -
Practice healthy communication skills and learn
how you relate to others -
Achieve a masculine
depth of feeling with others
| Mondays
8:00 to 9:30pm
$40/group |
Convenient Location:
Off hwy 24 in Lafayette
2930 Camino
Diablo Road | |
